That title was long and sums up anything that I was going to write in the body of this post. I am so fortunate to be where I am today with the life I was born into and the people and things that I have in my life. My thanks would be going no where if it was not for a purpose. The people that are helping me grow and move forward in life will hopefully see and feel my thankfulness in the future as I spend the rest of my soul and spirit with them to the end of this school year. I want to thank my closest and best friend for always being there for me and taking care of me even if I’ve treated him poorly in the past and even now. I hope to show him how thankful I am to him as much as I can this year.
I can’t handle life as it spins in all directions away from me. I continuously sleep to hide from it. The same dream finds me inside. I cried, what a bad poem. Even if I can’t run or hide, there’s a Thorn on my mind. I’ve become homesick, even though I’m home.
Five drafts that couldn’t be explained in writing and left to decay in the drafts section of the site.
I’ve come to realize that for some time now that when I greet people, whether they’re classmates or friends, that the words I would usually say have retreated to the back of my mouth and refuse to come out. I open the cave to let the bats out but all I hear is echo. It feels like I’ve been gone for so long that the words “Hi” or “What’s up?” have become awkward. And even if I did say them, there was no guarantee that my words would slip through their private thought bubble or sound louder than the music that is filing into their brain. This is when that old cliché that every inspirational movie has comes in. Actions speak louder than words. Which I’m seeing quite often nowadays, although not exactly in the same situations as in the movies. My personality has resorted to body behavior as my source of communication since actually talking has become inconvenient or I’ve just become so lazy. So when I’m walking in the hallway, my substitute for oncoming familiar people has come down to smiling, nodding, low and high fives, and finally the most popular, eyebrow raising. So if you see me and try to say something, you’ll understand my position if you haven’t already. Anyways this was just something I wanted to make note of. Surely something to peak your interest or grab your attention while you’re supposed to be writing a two page essay due tomorrow. And.. the day goes on.
I really enjoy the pictures that this blog posts and they usually follow a picture with something that follows the picture. Just something to share =u=
Breathing in and breathing out. These memories running through my veins. I’m so glad that you’re here. It’s so sweet how you care. Take my hand and show me the way and never bring me back here. So bold and fearless in the risks we take. Running in circles too close to the edge. This could be love. With your shattered frame of mind. Eyes blinded by the lies. You start to roll without me there. What ever happened to us getting away? I can feel these changes right before my eyes. I see a dying fire inside your eyes. Cause we finally know now what our time here’s about. But the air that we breathe is about to run out. And I’m one breath away from falling. A blur is all that’s seen. Something in here’s not right today. I wanted to believe in you, I wanted to believe in all of this. I tried so hard. But in the end, it doesn’t even matter. One minute you’re on top. Making your heart stop. I’m sick of running. I’ll tear you apart. I know this hurts, it was meant to (it was meant to). I know what you want but it’s too late. The dead can’t speak and there’s nothing left to say anyway. And then its all gone. Now it’s all gone.
I believe that I have a very good group of friends that support me in my choices or troubles. I go to them for help regarding academics or romantic advice, or sometimes even a revelation that reveals itself to me during a day. It’s like a normal conversation in regards to these topics. But when you’re mad or hindered by problems, how the hell would you fix that with help from someone. The most you will get is sympathy and that won’t give you
shit. I mean, thanks for the thought and all but doing something would be more considerate. Speaking of consideration, like the title of this rant, the reason why I’m on here blowing off anger is because no one else would want to hear a young adult (officially) talk about his minuscule problems compared to the ones that are actually happening every fucking day. Plus why ruin someone else’s day by being all negative and depressing by how pissed off you are since you can’t deal with your own shit. Thank you internet. Thank you for being my console. But you are a huge fucking asshole for probably being the root cause of tonight’s anger. Get your shit together and find me somewhere to take it out on.. at fucking one AM.
An anniversary is a date on which an event took place in a previous year, according to google. Woah speaking of anniversaries, it was my grandparents’ yesterday. They’ve been married for 70 years now. They celebrated their anniversary every ten years by going to places where they spent together and eating their favorite foods, even if they foods were complete opposites. Although this year it was different. This year we went to a park and then a Chinese restaurant as a family. My grandma is pretty fragile now but she seems energetic around people even though its her anniversary and not ours. She would order all of our favorite dishes and hers too. The day couldn’t have been finished without the sight of dessert. Of course since this was a genuine Chinese restaurant, the dessert was not fortune cookies but rather a pastry. The pastry made a Reese’s Pieces shape with the dough on the outside and a sweet yellow paste filled and revealed in the middle. All of us took one, only leaving one left on the plate leftover. I took a bite of mine but didn’t finish it because I don’t enjoy them much anymore. I looked towards my grandma with a smile but found something else on her expression. She had taken a small bite of her pastry and began to silently cry as she chewed it. It only made sense that she is crying. It was her 70th anniversary with my grandpa. There was one pastry left at the table. Today was not only their anniversary day, but it was also the seventh year after my grandpa passed away in his sleep on their 63rd year of their marriage.